People seem to like making assumptions of me. I have the whole tall, blonde California-grown thing going on, so I guess I had it coming. My parents provided for me well, and I was never wanting. I got a lot of crap for that growing up, and I guess the Catholic guilt got to me. I started to realize that this life I had was the result of my parent’s action, and not mine. I had to start building my life myself so I could have something I could truly call mine. So, mostly on a whim, after college I moved to Chicago with some measly savings, a cheap place to stay with family friends, and little else. I got lucky and found a job, and a handful of friends. But I still found myself falling into old bad habits. Worrying too much what people thought of me, letting other people tell me who I was and how I should be defined. Dating a few guys I shouldn’t have. Getting lazy, not moving on. One day, I saw the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book and was instantly drawn. Naturally, I bought the book and read it. I connected with the character, a young woman who took a crazy risk to challenge herself and find more than how she had been living. It seemed similar to what I was looking for when I moved spontaneously. The only difference between her and I was that after her journey, she started living differently and I wasn’t. So I decided to take a weekend trip to Utah for 4 days, to hike Zion and Bryce Canyons. I wish I could say my life has taken a complete 180, but it hasn’t. What I can say is that life can sometimes seem like a long hike, and I learned that even when you don’t feel like you’re getting very far, it’s important to keep going.
Fear is love. Respect is Food. Be feared and vomit. -V8 TFD
We often say that some people open doors for us. In my case, reading Krishnamurti is more akin to breaking down walls, installing windows, and giving me new perspectives with which to see the world. His wisdom is unbiased, deeply perceptive of the personal, the political, and the philosophical contexts of daily existence. Reading his words, I feel closer to my fellow human and my own true self.
